How to get rid of loneliness - practical advice from life. How to get rid of the oppressive feeling of loneliness and transform yourself How to get rid of loneliness for a woman

PHOTO Getty Images

If feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and despair persist for more than two weeks, it may be worth talking to a counselor or psychotherapist. Well, if your case is not so severe, here are some tips on how to quickly get rid of the oppressive feeling of loneliness.

1. Do, don't think.

Loneliness seems to envelop us. As a result, we spend too much time feeling sorry for ourselves and doing nothing. And most often they are sure that this cannot be changed. Such thoughts must be abandoned immediately. Find something to do right now. By acting rather than thinking, you will break free from the endless cycle of dark thoughts. Work in the garden. Clean out your garage. Wash the car. Chat with your neighbors. Call your friends and go with them to a cafe or to the cinema. Go for a walk. A change of scenery will help take your mind off the oppressive melancholy. It is impossible to suffer if you are busy with something.

2. Be kind to yourself

When we are depressed, self-flagellation will not help. But unfortunately, we all do this without wanting to. For example, we made a costly mistake at work, or we quarreled with a partner or friend and now we don’t talk to him. Or maybe we have too many expenses, and there is nowhere to get money from. Instead of discussing with someone everything that bothers us, we accumulate it inside ourselves. And as a result, we feel incredibly lonely.

When we feel bad, it is important to take care of ourselves

When we feel bad, it is important to take care of ourselves. In fact, we often forget about this because of more pressing issues. As a result, we don’t get enough sleep, eat poorly, don’t exercise, and overload ourselves. It's time to “reboot” and restore the lost balance, feel better physically. Go to the park, take a bath, read a book in your favorite cafe.

3. Don't become isolated

Although you can be lonely in a crowd, communication helps to distract yourself at least for a while. The best medicine is to get out of the house and find some company. It’s good if it’s a group of friends, but group classes, hobby groups, traveling and hiking in groups are also a great way out. It's hard to think about how sad you are during an interesting conversation.

4. Discover something new

A guaranteed way to deal with sad feelings is to discover and learn new things. When you turn on the “curiosity gene” and do something that truly intrigues and interests you, there is no room for the blues. Try driving to work on a new road.

Plan a short trip for one day, visit nearby attractions: small towns, parks, forests, nature reserves, museums, memorable places. On the road, try to learn something new, meet new people, so that you have something to remember.

5. Help others

The surest way to stop feeling sorry for yourself is to help someone else. This does not mean that you need to immediately run into the street to save the homeless. There are other ways. Clean out your wardrobe, collect items you no longer wear, and donate them to a charity.

Give old but working electronics to those in need, dishes, furniture, bedding, toys and other unnecessary things. It will be good for them, but even better for you. If your neighbors include pensioners, bedridden patients, or simply lonely people who need support, visit them, chat, treat them to something tasty, and play board games. Even you get lonely, imagine what it’s like for them? It's easier to overcome loneliness together. Remember, you can only get rid of negative emotions through conscious efforts.

About the expert

Suzanne Kane is a psychologist, journalist, and screenwriter living in Los Angeles. Her website: suzannekane.net

Instructions

Lack of motivation to search. Many lonely people are very comfortable with their loneliness; they are too lazy to waste time and energy looking for a life partner. Often such people are convinced in advance that any activity to find a partner will end as soon as it begins. A passive life position does not bode well. You can remain single for the rest of your life. The most unforgivable mistake towards yourself and your life is to give up and do nothing. Don't forget that happy people happy only thanks to themselves and the desire to be happy. You can’t sit within four walls and wait for a gift from fate. You need to go out to people, communicate, get acquainted, attend exhibitions, concerts, public events. Only in this case will fate sooner or later present a long-awaited meeting, which can become a bright future.

Lack of variety in life. Very often, a person, in search of his partner, visits the same places or is in the same company. In this case, the chances of meeting your person are significantly narrowed. The solution will be a change of interests, a new company of people, hobbies, hobbies that you have not done before. It is believed that the easiest way to meet people is during the holidays. Most often, people meet each other at friends’ weddings, anniversaries, advanced training courses and trainings. The percentage of acquaintances at sporting events is high. Start working on yourself, get involved in a circle of interests, try to keep up everywhere, be easy and active in communication.

Focusing on your loneliness. Many lonely people have a bad habit of ruining themselves for their loneliness. Self-flagellation will not bring anything good. It is much more important not to scold yourself, but to learn to see the positive sides. At positive attitude Because of his loneliness, a person does not become withdrawn and detached. He believes that happiness will find him sooner or later, and goes through life with optimism. Those people for whom loneliness is a signal of unfulfillment and the search for eternal problems have a gloomy, dejected appearance. It is very unlikely that anyone would want to meet a disgruntled pessimist. There is only one way out: accept your loneliness as a temporary phenomenon, do not lose optimism and proudly walk through life.

Eternally busy. Scientists have proven that more than half of careerists with a stable, high income are absolutely alone in their personal lives. This is due to eternal busyness, when it is difficult to find time for a date or a romantic meeting, the whole day is scheduled minute by minute, and even during breaks a person is busy with thoughts about work. Psychologists advise such people to learn to allocate time for things not related to professional activities. For example: an excellent way to take your mind off work would be to visit the gym, swimming pool, or go out into nature with good company. Barbecues, jokes around the fire, dancing, the forest - all this will be a great incentive to enjoy life and look for a suitable partner. It is important to learn to distinguish between work time and time for your personal life, because a career is good, but it will not warm you in moments of sadness and loneliness, as a real person will.

Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house and the alarm clock rings.

Faina Ranevskaya

This great woman said wonderfully, one can only complement her words to keep up with the times: there is a telephone and an Internet, but the telephone is silent, the email box is full of spam, and on social networks you can only look at other people’s photos.

How to get rid of this feeling of loneliness ringing with silence? Is it possible to get used to it or is it time to change something about yourself? You probably want to post your happy photos among your friends on social networks, but for now all you get are sad selfies with you alone.

Few people are familiar with the absolute feeling of loneliness. If a person is not bedridden, then since childhood there has always been someone around him: parents, sisters and brothers, peers at school and at least some friends.

But why did it happen that when you become an adult, people ignore you? There may be several reasons:

Relatives, those who are alive and well, live very far away. Of all the communication there are only rare calls “about nothing.” Or simply close relationships with relatives did not work out.

Are you a difficult person. You like to tell the truth to your face, and this turns out to be tactless and offensive to your opponent. You are selfish, sometimes envious and overly hot-tempered. It’s generally difficult to communicate with you because of your tough temper.

Noisy companies with libations tire you. You are categorically for a healthy lifestyle, you cannot stand people who drink and smoke. This is also important, because although a healthy lifestyle is great for health, it has difficulty bringing people together during the holidays.

You think most people are too down to earth. No one can understand your subtle soul and even consider it eccentric. You may have your head in the clouds, but people take all your fantasies as lies and laugh at you.

You are your own homebody. You don't need company and holidays with tinsel. Although loneliness doesn’t tire you, you would like just a little from fate - a loved one and a child. Just a small family in a cozy nest. But you don’t have that either.

At least one of the points still made you think: yes, this looks like me. The fear of loneliness really weighs on you if you found this article. Now let’s think about how to destroy the wall between you and people and get out of this depression.

Misanthropes against their will - is it easy for them to be alone?

Misanthrope - what a terrible word. It seems that beneath him lies a cynical monster in rags who hates all humanity. But this is not always the case; among the misanthropes there are people who are simply disillusioned with humanity, but in their souls they remain very kind and vulnerable.

Most often, these are older people with extensive life experience. Their credo in the past was to help their neighbor. Out of the kindness of their souls, they were generous and selfless. They were used, and in their hearts these users envied the luck of the person helping them.

And then, when the “sponsor” ran out of opportunities and funds, and he himself found himself “at the bottom,” everyone turned away from him, betrayed him, and also trampled him into the dirt, forgetting his past achievements. And then he deliberately becomes a loner, closed to everyone. It is at this time that a person develops a fear of communicating with other people.

But this state is an extreme. Even such a loner, if he did not go to live in the forest, still has several close people who supported him in difficult times. If you are in the same position and have already been able to cope with the depression of the past days, then at least do not lose these close people, even though it is difficult - you no longer want to trust anyone.

No need to fight windmills and proving something to traitors is already in the past, and these are just ghosts in your life. You just need to learn to live alone for a while and find yourself a like-minded man. Therefore, let your best friend be the Internet during this time.

Just don’t look for an evil and greedy misanthrope, but look for a person who has also been burned in life, doesn’t trust people, but wants family warmth. Just to do this, you don’t need to deliberately get acquainted on special sites for marriage - there are scammers all over the place. When you meet another swindler, you will become even more depressed.

But it is on the Internet, somewhere on forums, discussing a specific topic, that you can find a kindred spirit. Let your correspondence with him last for years without meeting, but you will no longer feel lonely. And if fate brings you and this man into the same family, then even though you two won’t need anyone, you will still be happy together. Or maybe even with common children.

If you are not of this world

Yes, exactly - that same eccentric with oddities. You do not suffer from demophobia (fear of people and crowds), you yourself are drawn to society, but you are rejected. But your behavior is too shocking. You have no fear of surprising the public, you have other fears:

• to remain alone and misunderstood by people;
• become a laughing stock and an example of idiocy;
• you can’t find like-minded friends among people.

You don't want to be considered a fool. On the contrary, you want people to admire your talents. But your poems are ridiculous, your gestures are artificial, your outfits are non-standard. Do you think you're the only weirdo? No, of course, there are thousands like you.

You just need to find people like you, because you are special, just like them. There are few of them on the Internet - they have no time to tap on the keyboard, they are all in creative search. Look for them in clubs of similar interests, in amateur street performances, at poetry meetings.

You may have to search for their fees online for a while. But when you find it, run out of the house to meet them! Perhaps it is there that you will get rid of your complexes acquired in the gray mass of people, overcome depression and experience the first minutes of your success.

No, you are not a misanthrope, not an eccentric, and you are not hiding from people. On the contrary, you are such a social person - noisy, active and energetic. But there is nothing humane about you - you are a cynical “cracker”. You have no fear of anything, it is people who fear you, but do not respect you.

But female loneliness is your nightmare. You are terribly jealous of married couples, and cats scratch your soul. But you can’t even get a dog, because there’s no one to walk it. And you eliminated all your friends. You are like Mymra from Office Romance. Do you recognize this character in yourself?

Still from the film “Office Romance”

arrow_left Still from the film “Office Romance”

One piece of advice: break your character. The fight will be hard, but you need to defeat Mymra within yourself.

And here is literature for “breaking”:

1. - how to get rid of these harmful character traits.
2. — how to get rid of masculinity and raise a lady in yourself.
3. - and this is to start liking men.

Yes, yes, you even need to learn how to flirt with men - you need good relationships not only with colleagues and neighbors. It's time to fall in love and have an affair. This means that you need to go out in front of people beautiful, with a kind heart and an open soul, and not as before - with the grin of a mad wolf.

Learn to go not only to museums and exhibitions, but also to the same noisy parties - even to a corporate event. If you yourself are for a healthy lifestyle, then do not impose your morals on anyone - you will return to your starting point. Drink your lemonade, breathe fresh air on the balcony and smile at people.

If, because of your crooked character, you didn’t like these tips, maybe you can still come to terms with your loneliness? You have nothing to be afraid of - you’re already used to people avoiding you, so you can easily survive their hatred. And you shouldn’t have a dog - why would you offend an innocent animal and cause fear in it?

Pros and cons of loneliness

In general, loneliness still needs to be earned. Especially at a young “herd” age. Laziness in communication, bad character, ignorance of the basic psychology of people.

Although in any environment there will be some person who loves solitude, and can even justify his high:

I don't care if the house is a mess. There is no fear if guests suddenly come and see garbage in every corner. “Suddenly” never happens, and neither do guests.

No one will be fooled by empty chatter. If you want to listen to something, you can turn on music or TV. If you get tired of the buzzing, you can turn it off.

No need to bother with cooking for your family and guests. And in general - eat what you want, drink what you want, get fatter, thinner, drunker, sleep - never any reproach from anyone.

Well, maybe for a while it really is a thrill. But such a protracted “nonsense” is very doubtful. After all, how much positivity is lost in life, especially for the weaker sex:

There is no full communication - you have to remain silent. But for women, it’s in their blood to scratch it with their tongue, and preferably for more than one hour.

No one will congratulate you on the holiday. He won’t give you flowers or gifts, or kiss you. And there is no one to invite to the set table.

Sometimes you want to howl from this silence! Let the dog bark, the guests make noise, the sounds of children's laughter, the borscht bubbling in the pan for the family. But this silence is already exhausting!

Yes, unfortunately, sometimes the feeling of depression oppresses not only misanthropes, eccentrics and hysterics. It also gets good women. They don't even find a reason within themselves. But if the reason is really incomprehensible, then it would be worth asking some simply good and wise friend: “Well, what’s wrong with me?”, and then listen, accept criticism adequately and change.

Do you return home every day, where no one is waiting for you, and have almost lost hope of organizing your personal life? Or maybe you have a family, a husband and children, but even with them, you are left alone with your problems? It's time to understand yourself, think about how to get rid of loneliness and change your life for the better.

When a loved one is not there, sooner or later you begin to feel empty. Emptiness in the soul. Some people begin to feel apathy and depression, others throw themselves into work, being home only at night, others plunge into the world of television or the Internet. But everyone’s condition is the same – it’s mental discomfort.

Some will say that they like being single and will give a lot of arguments in favor of this state. For example, no responsibility and complete freedom. Or maybe self-sufficiency and lack of time for personal life. In fact, hiding behind these excuses, a person allows himself to be lonely.

Why are people lonely?

The cause of this condition is most often simple fear. Perhaps there have already been failed relationships in the past, and the person is afraid to start all over again so that it doesn’t hurt. Or is it an inferiority complex, which is based on the same fear. An insecure person is afraid of not living up to the hopes of his future chosen one. Or he even gives up helplessly: no one gets to know me. At the same time, he usually does not think about the fact that he himself does nothing to interest someone.

Statistics show that there are much more lonely people in megacities. Big cities divide people rather than unite them. This happens because in major cities a small percentage of indigenous people. The bulk are migrants from other cities or even countries who were brought up in the spirit of their local traditions, where they have their own norms of behavior, words, and gestures. Once in a metropolis, such people usually experience difficulties in communication.

to contents

Video about the classification of feelings of loneliness

to contents

How to get rid of loneliness in life

to contents

Let's look the problem in the eye

First, you need to recognize the problem. Having removed all excuses, tell yourself: yes, I am lonely. And set a goal to get rid of this condition. You need to analyze your behavior, think about what you are doing wrong. Perhaps you should reconsider your communication style, maybe you should change your wardrobe or give up some habits.

to contents

What kind of loneliness are we going to get rid of?!

To get rid of the feeling of loneliness, the first step is to figure out and determine what kind of impressions and information are missing to fill this particular deficiency, because everyone’s needs are different and people are lonely in different ways. Is it possible to compare a person who is left alone in the world, without relatives and friends, with a “lonely” housewife living with her husband, children, dog, cat, hamster and her husband’s parents in addition? Of course not. Therefore, it is stupid and completely useless to advise a lonely person to go to a club or get a new girlfriend or friend if he needs something completely different. Moving in the wrong direction, an attempt to get rid of the feeling of loneliness turns into an escape from loneliness, which can further intensify unpleasant feelings and even lead to disastrous consequences: promiscuity that never fills the void, deep depression, apathy, alcoholism and even suicide.

Trying to get rid of the oppressive feeling of loneliness, many begin to act according to a given pattern - they hang out in noisy companies, change boyfriends and girlfriends like gloves, cheat on their spouses, but bad luck - the feeling of loneliness remains. And all because we are feeding the wrong animal. So, if you don’t have enough tactile sensations, it’s enough to sign up for dancing, massage courses or wrestling; visual – we visit exhibitions, shows, theaters; we need to give someone love and care - let’s get a dog or a cat. It is important that the “psychological hunger” is satisfied before entering into a new serious relationship, otherwise new communication will be subordinated to the same hunger.

to contents

Increase self-esteem and change your view of the world

How can you get rid of loneliness if you yourself consider yourself unworthy of friendship, respect and love. Such negative attitudes will not work, because often we ourselves subconsciously fence ourselves off from people, close invisible doors, without saying a word, and drive everyone away. The reason for loneliness is not in the world around us, but in ourselves. How often it seems to us that the whole world is against us, but in reality it is us against the world. Love yourself and the world will love you! Open the doors, take a step and climb out of the shell into which you have driven yourself.

Whether we like it or not, we always find what we are looking for, consciously or unconsciously. It seems like we wish with all our hearts and souls not to be lonely, but at the same time we send the message that we are not worthy of something more.

An interesting parable was cited in one of his books by the famous doctor and writer Deepak Chopra:

One day, in a village where an old gray-haired Sufi sage lived, a traveler appeared and went straight to the sage.

“I really don’t know whether I should go through your village,” he said to the old man. – Tell me, what kind of people live here, what can we expect from them?

- And where you came from to our region, what kind of people lived? – the Sufi asked.

“Only liars, swindlers, and highway robbers,” the traveler complained.

“It’s the same with us,” the elder answered, shrugging his shoulders.

There was no trace of the traveler. Less than an hour later, another wanderer wandered into the village. He also found a wise Sufi and turned to him for advice:

“I don’t know these places well and don’t dare go through the village.” Could you tell me what kind of people live here?

—What are the people like in your native land? - asked the sage.

“Oh, my fellow countrymen are the most hospitable, the most humble, the kindest, the gentlest and most compassionate people on earth. I miss them so much!

“The people here are the same,” the elder answered without hesitation.

This is how, by looking into the mirror of our relationships with people and the world, we really get to know ourselves.

to contents

Reconsidering existing relationships

It happens extremely rarely that a person is completely alone, because there are relatives, colleagues, classmates, friends and comrades, and perhaps even a loved one. Where does loneliness come from in this case? Most often from our own selfishness and unwillingness to accept people as they are. Perhaps we don’t get what we want from them because we ourselves don’t give them something important and necessary. If you want to receive, learn to give! If you want attention, be careful! If you want love, love! Loneliness is when, talking to a person, you understand that he does not hear you, that he himself is trying to tell you something, but you do not hear him either. Hear to be heard!

to contents

Secrets of transformation

As you know, water does not flow under a lying stone. There is absolutely no sense in self-criticism. It is better to do something and fail than to do nothing at all. Change yourself, and the world around you will change too. The transformation must be both external and internal. First, we go to the hairdresser, beauty salon, change our wardrobe. They still meet you by their clothes, and only then look into the depths of their souls. Well, while we were running back and forth, thoughts of loneliness disappeared somewhere, and my mood noticeably improved. Next comes more serious and painstaking work - learning to be an interesting, positive and pleasant person to communicate with. Psychological trainings and courses on personal growth and development will help with this, where new acquaintances, knowledge, impressions and emotions also await you.

to contents

Let's go out in public

If there really aren’t enough people and you need to expand your social circle, let’s go to the people! Not to the notorious cafes and clubs, but to theaters, museums, presentations, and just to a city park for a walk. There will certainly be people for the company. These could be friends or co-workers, neighbors or virtual acquaintances.

How often in response to an invitation to a party, wedding or somewhere else you can hear: “I have no one to go with. What will I do there alone? Is it better to sit at home alone, or what? Go! Be sure to go, and then you’ll see, maybe someone interesting will show up.

You can go to a resort or sanatorium. You shouldn’t ask an equally lonely friend to accompany you. It's better to go alone. It's easier to get to know each other this way. When meeting someone, don’t be afraid to show your interest in communication. The main thing is not to confuse it with obsession. How to stop being lonely in a foreign city? Throw away your complexes, shyness and bashfulness and spend your evenings in public places.

In order for new people to appear around, it makes sense to enroll in some courses - driving, foreign language, personal growth or ballroom dancing. It is preferable to choose courses that really interest you and where you will have the opportunity to communicate with the opposite sex. In this case, the likelihood of finding a like-minded person increases, and free time filled with a pleasant and educational pastime.

to contents

Path to God

For many, especially those who feel unnecessary and lonely, having everything they can dream of, the only way to solve the dilemma is faith in God, who fills the life of every person with meaning, to whom you can entrust all your joys and troubles, who will always listen and understand . When the fire of faith and love burns in the heart, even being absolutely alone, a person will not be lonely. After reading the last paragraph, many will grin cynically, but often this path is the answer to all questions.

To change your life for the better, you just need to want it.

George Bernard Shaw

Are you lonely? Are you looking for friends? Do you dream of having a loved one nearby? Do you feel like the whole world has turned its back on you? I could ask you many similar questions, and to most of them, I am sure, you would answer in the affirmative. After all, I understand what the feeling of loneliness is, and not only because I have encountered it many times as part of my professional activity, but also because I have experienced it many times in my life. But at the same time, dear readers, I also know how to get rid of this feeling. And in this article I will tell you about it. I will tell you how to get rid of loneliness and feel like a happy person, no matter the reason why you feel lonely. I assure you that anyone can change their life so that they will never feel lonely again. Each of us is capable of finding friends and a loved one, and each of us can express ourselves in this life in the best possible way. This is not at all difficult to do, you just need to set the right mood for life and everything in it will go like clockwork, believe me. Read this article to the end and I will show you how you can do it.

The first thing you need to find out is why do you feel lonely, because there is no one next to you, or because you cannot or want, for one reason or another, to communicate with the people around you? Perhaps the whole point is that your views on life do not coincide with the views of those people who surround you and therefore it seems to you that these people do not understand you, which is tantamount to the fact that they are not near you at all. Or perhaps the whole point is that other people simply treat you badly, so you distance yourself from them and don’t want to communicate with them. You know, I don't think you feel lonely because there are no people around you, unless you live on a desert island, which is unlikely. Consequently, the whole point is in those people who surround you - they do not suit you in some way, or you are not outdated in some way, or you are simply afraid for one reason or another to communicate with them. That's why you're lonely, right? It's all about the people. And you know what – it’s always about people. Many of our problems, including the problem of loneliness, are somehow related to people. And if we learn, if you, dear friends, learn to interact competently with other people, to communicate competently with them, you will immediately make many friends and find a loved one. There are people around you, right? So why do you feel lonely? Probably something is preventing you from fully communicating with them, which is why you are experiencing the problem of loneliness. It stems from another problem you have, which is related to your communication skills. This means that it is necessary to solve this problem first. Below I will tell you how you can do this.

For now, let's look at the problem of loneliness from the other side. In this life it happens that a person can be surrounded by, let’s say, not quite the right people, that is, people who are very different from him. And it's very difficult for a person with these people to find mutual language, and frankly speaking, often you don’t even want to do this. Therefore, whether they exist, these people, or whether they don’t exist, you still feel lonely. It doesn't matter whether you're looking for friends or a loved one - if you're surrounded by people you don't want anything to do with, you're bound to feel lonely. This is indeed a problem, and a fairly common one. What can you do in this case to get rid of loneliness? Well, the answer suggests itself - you need to either find people who will accept and understand you, and with whom you will feel very at ease, or you need to learn to communicate with those people who surround you at the moment. If you are not limited in your movement around the world - you do not live on a small island and are not in isolation, then, probably, it is easier for you to find normal, from your point of view, people to communicate with, as well as someone for a serious relationship, than to find a common language with those who currently surround you. Think about what needs to be done for this. Perhaps you need to become a little bolder and a little more active in order to reach new people you need? What do you think?

Trying to find a common language with those who currently surround you is, in principle, also an option. At the same time, you absolutely do not have to go against yourself and your principles, if you have any. Trying to find a common language with those who for one reason or another do not like you, who are not suitable for you, either as friends, or as a companion or life partner, who do not understand you at all - you just have to learn to see others in these people qualities that can be attributed to their merits. It is enough just to find those points of contact through which you can establish contact with these people and begin to benefit from communicating with them. They may not become your best friends and you may not want to cast your lot in with any of them, but communicating with them will make you a less lonely person. Just try to find out more about these people, then you will see a lot of interesting things in them for you. After all, you know, people often do not understand each other well, not because their views on life and many things in it do not coincide, which is why they cannot accept each other’s position, but because they know little about each other. Well, it’s like with the first impression of a person, which often turns out to be deceiving. We seem to think one thing about a person, assessing him very superficially at the beginning of our acquaintance, but over time it turns out that he is completely different, much more interesting and better than we thought. Therefore, you need to be able to study other people, and for this, you need to pause with your attitude towards them and your opinion about them. If you don’t like a person, don’t rush to form your opinion about him, try to find out more about him in order to see in this person not only those qualities that are most noticeable and that you don’t like, but also other, less pronounced ones or even hidden qualities that are also present in him and may well be acceptable to you. It is from this position that you can begin to communicate with a person who is currently not interesting or pleasant to you, winning him over by accepting his position in life from the side you need. This is very good way get rid of loneliness. After all, there are a lot of people around us, so you can always find those with whom you can pass the time, no matter who these people are. This is better than being alone all the time. So even if there is not much that connects you with other people, but only on a few positions your views will coincide - this, you know, is also not small. A person needs communication, this is one of his needs, which must somehow be satisfied in order to feel normal.

On the other hand, if you are the kind of person who doesn't need large quantities friends and constant communication with people, then you may well find yourself one or two friends who will suit you in many ways. And if we talk about a loved one, then he should be the only one in life, but one who understands you and who really suits you. In general, having a loved one nearby can completely save you from loneliness. You won’t even need friends if the person you love and loves you is next to you. Just one person should appear in your life who will understand, love, appreciate, respect you, and who will accept you as you are or who you are or who you are, and you will immediately get rid of loneliness. Just think about it - just one person. And the feeling of loneliness is as if it never happened. Do you think it is difficult for you to find just one person whom you will love and who will love you? Actually no, it's not difficult. Honestly. Some people just think that finding a loved one, a loved one, is very difficult. But I know that this is not so. You just need to search, actively search, or rather, choose the right person from the huge number of people around you. Moreover, there may be several options. So your chances of finding your love, no matter who you are, are quite high.

When I worked with people on this task, who were absolutely sure that it was difficult for someone, and for them, to find a loved one or friends, then in the process of communicating with them, we eventually came to the conclusion that this task is by no means as difficult as it seemed to them. Do you know why it seemed difficult to them? Because it is always difficult to start doing something that you have never done or that you have done, but very rarely. Here you are, dear reader, how often have you looked for friends or a loved one? How much time do you spend on this - per day, per week, per month? Maybe I'm wrong, of course, but for some reason it seems to me that not very much. Sorry if I'm wrong about this, it's just that the statistics that I have, based on my own experience, tell me that people spend little time looking for a loved one and/or friends, that's why they don't have them, that's why they and lonely. Usually people wait for the people they need to come into their lives. For example, if a girl is convinced that a man, a guy, should take the initiative in dating, which is partly true, then she can wait all her life for her prince, who will show this very initiative by suddenly appearing in her life, but never wait for him. And when age pushes her to start a family, she will quickly jump out to marry almost the first person she meets, who may turn out to be God knows who. Well, the question is, why not start solving this issue earlier, why wait? Yes, it is generally accepted that it is the man who should take the initiative in dating, but this is a conditional rule that can and should be broken if a woman wants to find a man. You never know what should be in our life one way and not another, you never know how many different rules apply in it, you never know what should be in it, but what isn’t - we ourselves need to think about our own happiness in order to have it.

So it’s not difficult to find both friends and a loved one, you just need to take the initiative in this matter and everything will work out. Not necessarily the first time, but it will definitely work. I'm telling you this for sure. The main thing is attitude, the main thing is activity, the main thing is courage, which allows us to act. After all, why does a person feel lonely when there are so many people around? different people? Only because he does not make active contact with them. Even if you don’t want to look for common ground with those who you don’t like for one reason or another or who don’t like you, that’s okay. Look for those with whom you can find a common language, thanks to similar views on life and kinship of souls. Look for friends with similar interests, look for a loved one with a similar character, and so on. Take action. There are possibilities. Just don’t expect other people to do everything for you - by entering your life, like in a fairy tale, and transforming it. Make your life fabulous yourself - you have all the opportunities for this. I know this for sure, even without knowing each of you individually.

Now let's return to that question, or rather, to the problem that I mentioned above, and from which the problem of loneliness we are discussing arises. I mean the problem of communicating with people. After all, you may well be a fairly active person who wants to communicate with people and communicates with them, and with everyone without exception. And yet, you may not have friends and a loved one. Why? Probably, somehow you communicate with people not quite correctly, don’t you agree? Well, you know, there is an opinion, confirmed by many psychologists, including me, according to which such character qualities as: egocentrism, conflict, greed, rudeness, arrogance, disrespect for other people and similar qualities that we all usually don’t like in other people - interfere with getting rid of loneliness. Pay attention to yourself - is there something about you that other people may not like, that may push them away from you? If there is something, think about how to fix it. Perhaps you yourself can work with the negative qualities of your character, perhaps you can seek the help of a psychologist. But it is obvious that if something prevents you from communicating normally with other people, and therefore they avoid you, then you need to do something about it. Otherwise, nothing in your life will change - you will remain a lonely person.

Let's go further and assume that you don't offend people or push them away with your attitude towards them, but are simply afraid to communicate with them, well, for example, because of negative past experiences and, as a result, because of a subconscious fear of failure . By the way, because of this, people often cannot find a soul mate - their past relationship experience may be too negative. So they are afraid to enter into a new relationship, even after a considerable time. Also, perhaps you have some kind of complexes that stop you from communicating with other people. And you may be so unsure of yourself that you are not even able to start a conversation with a stranger. In this case, the question arises - what to do about it? Of course, we need to figure it out. After all, any psychological problems need to be solved - they cannot be solved on their own. So, either you figure it out on your own, or ask a psychologist for help, and he/she will help you get rid of all your internal problems. And by getting rid of internal problems, you will be able to solve external problems, because all our problems originate within us, and their solution begins with us. So if you need to change to get rid of loneliness, you can do it. That is, you have such an opportunity. Use it - change. Seek help from specialists or help yourself to get rid of all your complexes, fears, insecurities and other things that prevent you from living a normal life psychological problems. In this case, there is no way to do without working on yourself.

In general, as you can see, friends, I am pushing you to take active action, because any task is solved through actions, and not through thoughts and dreams. I can write to you a lot about loneliness and ways to get rid of it, approaching this issue from a variety of angles. But theory alone does not solve this problem, so there should be a minimum of it, but there should be a maximum of practice so that you get a real result. You can get rid of loneliness right now if you start communicating with someone on any topic that interests you. Thanks to communication, you will feel how easy it is to get out of a state of loneliness by simply starting to communicate with other people, or at least with one specific person. You can do this, you really can. Only this communication should give you pleasure, otherwise it will not satisfy you and will not help you feel your capabilities. But this is not a problem; with a competent approach to this matter, you can get pleasure from any communication, and at the same time benefit. So don't think about it, don't be afraid to do something wrong.

Better think about who you can start communicating with right now on a topic that interests you. I won’t believe you if you say that with no one, that there is no one in your life who is ready to listen to you right now. There must be someone who is ready to give you their time and have a heart-to-heart talk with you. Well, if you really don’t have anyone, find yourself a suitable person to communicate with. Use the same Internet if you don’t want to go anywhere and meet someone. Just please start communicating - start moving towards other people. This is very important - a long journey begins with the first, small, sometimes very small step. For you, this step is to immediately begin communicating with other people. Feel your willpower, which can motivate you to take action any time you need it. It is your willpower that will help you take advantage of my advice and recommendations to get rid of loneliness.