Psychology. How to get rid of the constant accuser within yourself? Psychology Increased sense of responsibility what to do

Summing up the results of the end of October, I regret to admit that I did not have enough responsibility. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any guidance on developing this quality for adults on the Internet. Therefore, I had to write a manual for myself.

I hope it helps you too.

First, let's figure it out, what is responsibility? The dictionary gives the following interpretation: “the subjective obligation to be responsible for actions and actions, as well as their consequences.” In yoga, where one of the values ​​is awareness of life, I was told that the word “responsibility” comes from the root “Vedas” and means “ I know what I'm doing " It sounds nice, but linguists say that the root is veteo (advice), which goes back to βουλή, which from ancient Greek means will. This is precisely the will - the ability to consciously manage your life. So the yoga trainer was close to the truth.

Learn to admit your mistakes. This is probably the most difficult thing. The moment you are praised or thanked, each of us is pleased. Only when we hear criticism or reproach, we behave completely differently. It is very difficult not to become defensive, trying to make the other person guilty. But it is much more correct to say “Sorry” and describe what exactly you repent of. This is where you develop an understanding of actions.

It's even harder to apologize if you've been caught in a lie. After all, then it will be necessary to tell the truth, and not just offer ways to resolve the situation.

Draw boundaries of responsibility. Obviously, you cannot be responsible for everyone and everything. Therefore, it is regularly worth thinking about, where is the border? We are each responsible primarily for ourselves. Therefore, in this example, let's try to draw boundaries.
Let's try to answer the questions:

• Who is responsible for my thoughts, actions, words? Definitely myself.
• Who is responsible for my health? If you treat it irresponsibly for a long time, then the moment will come when the doctor will be responsible. Until then, me.
• Who is responsible for my reputation? Me and my loved ones.
• Who is responsible for my comfort? A married man will answer - my wife.
• And so on.

It is worth drawing boundaries not only in relation to yourself. At the same time, remember: “many things are not in our zone of influence, which means we cannot be responsible for them” . You cannot take responsibility for the consequences of an earthquake - you are not the Lord God. You are only responsible for how to spend the $10 - donate it or buy a new book.

Formulate rules and stick to them. Making decisions is always difficult. And often for a long time. That is why people came up with rules, laws, morality. But we are all different, some may do more, some less. Therefore, adhering to other people's rules is not always correct. Moreover, other people's rules often conflict not only with our idea of ​​what is right, but also with each other.

In conclusion, I will paraphrase the words of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry: “ We are responsible for what we have done».

DESCRIPTION

As children who grew up in a dysfunctional family, we felt responsible for everything that happened. We tried to be “model children” to solve our parents’ problems. We have formed the belief that we are responsible for the emotions and actions of other people, and even for the outcome of events. We are hypersensitive to the needs of others, and we make attempts to be responsible for those around us. It is important for us to be as perfect as possible. We take on things for which people will appreciate us. Our sense of responsibility causes us to go overboard, and we tend to take on more than we can handle.

FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOR

1. TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
2. STIFFNESS
3. FALSE PRIDE
4. IRRESPONSIBILITY
5. BATTLE FOR ACHIEVEMENTS
6. HYPER RESPONSIBILITY
7. PERFECTIONISM

1. List specific examples of your behavior that characterize you as an overly responsible person.
2. What do you think is the main reason for this behavior? (e.g. fear, perfectionism, guilt, resentment).
3. What areas of your life are affected, threatened, or hindering you? (eg self-esteem, goals, safety, personal or sexual relationships).

HEALING FROM AN OVER-DEVELOPED SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY

DESCRIPTION

Accepting the fact that we are not responsible for other people frees up time to take care of ourselves. We understand that we have no power over the lives of other people, we realize that people themselves are responsible for their actions. When we take responsibility for our own actions, we realize that we must take care of our needs and rely on our Higher Power for guidance. We take the time to support and nourish ourselves as well as others.

FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOR

1. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
2. ENJOY YOUR LEISURE
3. ACCEPT YOUR IMPORTANCES

1. List specific examples of your behavior that indicate that you are not responsible for other people.

2. What do you hope to achieve as you empower others to take care of themselves and begin to take care of yourself?

SEXUALITY

DESCRIPTION

We cannot clearly and confidently understand our physical sensations in relation to other people, especially those with whom we have close relationships or with whom we would like to be emotionally close. We are accustomed to viewing our sexual sensations as something unnatural, abnormal. We fail to develop healthy attitudes about our own sexuality because we do not share our feelings with others. Perhaps we were punished as children for exploring our own sexuality with our peers. We received the attitude “Sex is dirty, it is not discussed, it should be avoided.”

Some of us believed that our parents were asexual beings and thought that we were born as a result of the “immaculate conception.” We may have been the victim of abuse from a parent or close relative who was out of control due to alcohol or mind-altering substance abuse. We are uncomfortable in our current role in intimate relationships, and perhaps we are not satisfied at all. We have developed a ban on discussing sexual relations with our partner, because we are afraid that he will not understand us and will leave us. If we have children, we may avoid discussing sexuality and deny their need for sexual identity.

FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOR

1. LUST
2. INCEST
3. SEXUAL OBSESSION
4. CONCERNS
5. SHIFTING SEXUAL ROLES
6. LOSS OF MORALITY
7. FRIGIDITY
8. IMPOTENCE

1. List specific examples of your behavior that indicate that you have problems with sexuality.

2. What do you think is the main reason for this behavior? (eg, inadequacy, anxiety, insecurity, guilt).

3. What areas of your life are affected, threatened or hindered? (eg self-esteem, goals, safety, personal or sexual relationships).

HEALING FROM UNHEALTHY SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

DESCRIPTION

When we lean on all-encompassing love our Higher Power, our self-worth grows. As we grow in self-love and ability to care for ourselves, we strive for healthy people who love and care for themselves. We are no longer afraid to invest in relationships and are better equipped to form healthy relationships - on an emotional, intellectual and physical level. We feel more secure by telling other people about our feelings, strengths and weaknesses. Our self-confidence grows and we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We let go of the need to be perfect and look for perfection in others, and because of this, we open ourselves to discussion and change. We are honest about our own sexuality with our children, and we accept their need for information and development of sexual identity.

FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOR

1. HONEST EXPRESSION OF FEELINGS
2. CONSIDER YOUR OWN NEEDS
3. SHARE INTIMATE SENSATIONS
4. SELF CONFIDENCE
5. ACCEPTING YOURSELF PHYSICALLY

1. List specific examples of your behavior that indicate your behavior is changing.

2. What do you hope to achieve as you become more confident sexually?

EXERCISE ON CHARACTER TRAITS (WEAKNESSES)

When listing your weaknesses, use the following characteristics to identify your actions. Reread what you wrote in your self-study and describe how the following characteristics manifest themselves.

1. PRIDE: excessive self-esteem. Demonstration of superiority.
2. GREED(egoism): Excessive desire for enrichment. We never have enough. Energy is focused on extraction. In the process of mining, we hurt other people.
3. LUST(preoccupation): A strong desire, need, or sexual desire. It is often based on fear of abandonment.
4. DISHONESTY(falsehood). Tendency to cheat or gain dishonestly. Excusing one's own behavior by citing other people's dishonesty.
5. GLUTTONY(gluttony): the habit of eating or drinking greedily and excessively. Fear of rejection or feelings of worthlessness.
6. ENVY(jealousy). A painful or resentful perception of an advantage received by another person, accompanied by a desire to possess that same advantage. The conviction that a stranger can become a source of self-love.
7. LAZINESS. Avoidance of activities, lack of energy or desire. Fear of responsibility.

Select a character trait from the list of your weaknesses (for example, approval seeking). Describe what you discovered during your research into this flaw that gave rise to the characteristics listed above (e.g., seeking approval may lead to dishonesty).

EXERCISE ON CHARACTER TRAITS (VENUE)

In recovery, we replace fear with faith and strengthen our trust. To a Higher Power. We view ourselves as a combination of desirable and less desirable character traits. We accept ourselves and everything connected with us.

1. HUMILITY(Humility): Recognize powerlessness and uncontrollability, just as we recognize our strengths and weaknesses.
2. GENEROSITY(Willingness to Share): When we are at peace with ourselves, we have the strength to care about the well-being and happiness of other people.
3. CONFIDENCE AND ACCEPTANCE OF YOUR SEXUALITY: Feel comfortable, be sensual, without entering into a race for sexual victories. Express your sexual preferences clearly to your partner.
4. HONESTY: Telling the truth, facing the facts, answering questions about our behavior with a sense of safety and confidence.
5. RESTRAINT: Moderation in actions, thoughts and feelings. Stop using food and drinks to drown out feelings or alleviate low self-esteem.
6. FRIENDLY, RELIABLE: Express support and encouragement to others.
7. ENERGY: Initiative, completing tasks independently. Liveliness, activity. Attentive attitude to work, innovation.

Select a character trait from the list of your weaknesses (for example, approval seeking). Describe how this deficit changes as you recover (eg, telling the truth about your feelings).

Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous World Service (New York), page 63

How to get rid of guilt - You don't owe anyone anything

Causes of feelings of guilt. How to get rid of it?

- Causes of feelings of guilt. How to get rid of it?
— Characteristic signs accusations
- How to remove guilt from your life? 6 lessons
— How to get rid of remorse forever?
— How to free yourself from the feeling of guilt? Let's change our life position!
— How to get rid of the constant accuser inside yourself? Psychology
- Conclusion

Guilt is one of the basic and destructive human feelings. However, you should never confuse the concepts of “being guilty” and “feeling guilty.”

After all, if the first concept is real, then the second often does not take place only in our heads. In such cases, you always need to think about how to get rid of the feeling of guilt?

There are a great many varieties of this feeling, depending on the situation and the psychological reasons that cause it. Let's look at some of them below.

1. You feel guilty for being angry at other people.
Are you convinced that good people anger is alien. The feeling of guilt is aggravated especially in those situations in which very close people cause anger.

In fact, the belief that love and anger cannot exist together is wrong; they are not mutually exclusive. You may be angry with your loved one. But we shouldn’t be indifferent.

2. You feel guilty for negative emotions.
You must understand that any negative emotion is creative up to a certain limit, but after that it begins to corrode the soul. There is no need to be afraid of negative feelings if they are not too intense.

3. You feel guilty for your actions and actions.
You did something knowing that it was wrong and bad.

To help yourself cope with the situation, try to figure out whether your action is so bad that it interferes with your normal life. What if this is just public opinion, and you should learn not to depend on it.

4. You feel guilty for being indifferent to people.
This is a false feeling of guilt, since you cannot force yourself to love someone by order of reason, just as you cannot force yourself to stop loving someone.

5. You feel guilty for the lack of results of some of your actions.
Getting rid of the feeling of guilt in this case can only come with the skills to receive satisfaction not only from what has been achieved, but also from the process of achievement itself.

6. You feel guilty because you didn’t do everything you could for another person.
The reason for the feeling of guilt in this case is the erroneous belief that only you are capable of making another person happy.

Getting rid of this is understanding that you cannot shoulder all the responsibility for the lives of others. Everyone is the master of their own life.

7. You only imagine doing something wrong, but you already feel guilty for your action.
You can only get rid of such a feeling of guilt by learning to do things at will and not think about the consequences, especially since they are most often unpredictable.

8. You didn't live up to someone's expectations and feel guilty.
This is typical for people on whom their parents had high hopes in childhood. However, they were not acquitted.

Getting rid of guilt will come with the understanding that this is only your life and you do everything not for the sake of someone else's expectations, but for your own sake.

Characteristic signs of accusation

• A person always wants to be “good.”
  If this does not happen, he feels guilty. Therefore, he cannot refuse anyone, does not conflict, does not sort things out, is afraid to make decisions and be honest both with himself and with others.
• Always worried what they will think of him, whether he was understood correctly, how he will look in the eyes of others.
• Frequently worries and worries that he did something wrong, offended someone.
• Believes that he must be responsible for everyone and everything, does not allow oneself to relax and make mistakes.
• Trying to “save the situation”, because he doesn’t understand that not everything depends on him, and other people make their own choices, maybe not always the right ones.
• Tries to meet others' expectations gets upset if it doesn't work out.
• Can't explain directly, why he didn’t do something, begins to make excuses and “make amends” in every possible way.
• Hides a lot, does not finish speaking because he does not want to upset, offend or anger anyone.
• Constantly contacts people which make him feel guilty.
• Lives with a partner who constantly needs his help, and is unable to take care of himself.
  Living with such a partner is difficult, but the feeling of guilt does not allow you to part with him.
• He is often depressed, dissatisfaction with yourself, the people around you and the world.

How to remove guilt from your life? 6 lessons

Lesson 1. Stop blaming yourself for the reactions of others.
Never blame yourself for another person's thoughts. You do not bear any responsibility for the fact that someone is angry with you, has a crush on you, or cannot stand you.

Other people don't care at all about how you feel. Then why do you obsess over the feelings of others?

If you really want to get rid of guilt, stop thinking about the feelings of others.

Lesson 2. Stop beating yourself up for mistakes.
Remember: all people learn from their own and others' mistakes.
There is simply no person in the world who can do everything right the first time.

Lesson 3. Let go of the feeling of guilt for the actions of others.
Each person has his own head on his shoulders, for which you are not responsible.
Think, first of all, about yourself, not about others!

Lesson 4.“Burning” the feeling of guilt.
Take a piece of paper and write down on it all the situations when you feel or felt guilty. Now crumple up the sheet, set it on fire, and throw the ashes out the window.

Lesson 5. Do not apologize.
It often happens that we are manipulated, forced to make excuses and apologize. Never apologize for actions that are not your fault.

Lesson 6. Respond to manipulation with manipulation.
Never allow people to manipulate you and always give them a worthy rebuff.

And if you cannot fight back the manipulator, run away from him without looking back.

How to get rid of remorse forever?

1. Become an adult and stop reacting to childish ways of manipulation.
For an emotionally mature person, guilt does not exist. Instead, he has responsibility for the decisions made, for his choice, and also responsibility for the fact that he can refuse his choice, recognizing it as wrong.

Recognize and analyze the levers that cause you to feel guilty.

2. Stop “saving” everyone.
Recognize other people's choices that put them in this situation.

3. Recognize your right to make mistakes.
Don't try to be perfect and good for everyone all the time.

4. Learn to express your feelings openly and in an acceptable manner - both positive and negative.

Honesty is the best foundation for a relationship. Conduct a dialogue without constantly trying to make amends.

5. Be yourself without trying to meet other people's expectations.
Understand what kind of person you really are, what you want from life, situations and people.

6. Forgive yourself for all your real and imagined faults, admit your mistakes, correct them.

How to free yourself from the feeling of guilt? Let's change our life position!

Every time you notice yourself feeling guilty, recite new principles to yourself. All principles must be understood and passed deeply, deep enough to get to your painful feelings. This is not even just understanding, it is complete, unconditional acceptance of the new truth.

Your new principles:

1. I am not to blame for your (interlocutor’s) perception.
This means that I am not responsible for the person's reaction.
Every person reacts one way and not another, because he does not know how to react differently. But you are not responsible for his feelings and sensations.

2. It’s not my fault that I make mistakes that I don’t know about.
We live and learn, gain experience and knowledge. And making mistakes is normal, it is a sign that you are moving and not standing still. He who does nothing makes no mistakes.

3. I am not to blame for the behavior and actions of other people.
In life, it is very important to distinguish between “you” and “I”. I am responsible for my feelings, my mood, my actions, my life. But I have nothing to do with your reactions, your behavior, your “badness,” etc. In this approach, you relieve yourself of the unnecessary extra ballast of responsibility for someone else’s life, but you take responsibility for your life.

4. It’s not my fault that I can’t do something.
Life is an endless learning experience. And to study means to be calm about the period when you don’t know how to do anything and everything turns out “badly” for you!

5. I will not lose love or good treatment because of my behavior.
Don't try to earn good treatment. It won't do anything. You still can't please everyone. Be yourself. But, in turn, you should not insult or blame others in response to attacks. Just stop reacting.

How to get rid of the constant accuser within yourself? Psychology

The first thing you need to do is realize this feeling in yourself that you have it. Awareness of your conditions is the most important step in development, and you can gradually begin to act in a new way.

First, you need to reconsider from all sides the reason for the appearance of this feeling, look at it from the perspective of a real, adult and mature person.

Secondly, if you are used to constantly mentally blaming yourself, always stop this meaningless, harmful, internal dialogue: “I knew that...”, “I did something bad again,” etc.

And in life situations, try not to get stuck on some assessments. If we focus only on the assessments of others or negative assessments of ourselves, then we lose ourselves.

And now, when doing something, for example, some work at work, no matter what you do, if you realize that you tried and wanted to do well, but it turned out the way it turned out, still always say to yourself: “WHAT A GOOD GIRL I AM.” ", this will serve as a reference point for you.

It is important to realize that it is impossible to suddenly take something and change something within yourself, it is always a gradual process and there is no escape from it.

The most important steps in our lives are small steps, not big ones, as many people think, and besides, it is small steps that lead us to big ones.

Learn to see the positive in everything, to see benefits and new opportunities, and not just external circumstances and trouble.

The internal state pulls up the external just as the external gradually pulls out the internal.

But you still need to learn this approach, gradually teach your brain useful habits: smile, say phrases of “contentment”, change your mind a little and think about useful and good things, ask yourself the right questions (if you haven’t done this before).

And to make it more effective for you to work with some feelings, at the moment of experiencing them, be aware of your emotions, and do not be blindly led by them.

And for example, with a feeling of guilt, do not say to yourself phrases such as: “I am guilty” (this is false), but say: “I feel guilty” (true).

Conclusion

Nowadays, one of the most pressing questions is the question: “How to get rid of guilt?” Many people suffer from this feeling, thereby ruining their lives. The saddest thing is that sometimes such guilt has no basis. Therefore, it is so important to distinguish when you are really guilty and you should apologize, and when this guilt is far-fetched and you should not blame yourself for anything.

This article describes the signs and causes of guilt, as well as ways to get rid of it. Hope this helps you. Good luck!

The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site

Responsibility - this is a form of control over human activity which he carries out himself in accordance with the norms and rules of conduct adopted by him. Society forces a person to be responsible for the consequences of the decisions he makes. The degree of responsibility, accountability and punishment are determined by public institutions and the state. Each person has moral, legal, and economic responsibilities, and failure to comply with relevant laws and regulations entails punishment. Subjective acceptance or non-acceptance, knowledge or ignorance, for example, of legal laws or rules of conduct in society, does not exempt a person from responsibility. By threatening punishment, society is always ready to bring the offender to justice, and this threat forces a person to develop internal forms of control over his activities. This is responsibility. In the end, it becomes a personality trait, and is formed in the process of internalization, that is, acceptance of one’s social values, norms and rules. Responsibility involves awareness of your actions and their consequences. The degree of awareness of the decisions made and the degree of control over the consequences when implementing these decisions may vary. We can highlight:

High level of responsibility - responsibility is a personality trait, all decisions made are correlated with the internal structure of values, there is a feeling of responsibility for decisions made, actions implemented and the consequences of these actions for life.

Average level of responsibility - essentially the same, but there is awareness only of the immediate consequences of the actions taken, there is no sense of responsibility for the strategy of behavior in life.

Low level of responsibility - manifests itself in situational self-control over activity. Acceptance of responsibility, awareness of the consequences in certain moments of life is not a personality trait, but a responsible attitude that arises in individual acts. It can be unstable, temporary, depending on mood and circumstances.

Irresponsibility - may have two manifestations: either a person does not have a formed internal value system that controls and regulates activities, or internal rules are very strict for a person, and norms and values ​​are very high, he does not feel or does not consider himself capable of making decisions, taking responsibility for possible consequences, since if you fail, punishing yourself will be excessively severe. In this case, he develops a fear of responsibility.

IN psychological structure responsibility includes three components: rational, emotional and volitional. A person’s awareness of social needs and their refraction in the structure of the inner world can be carried out at the level of knowledge, feelings, beliefs and actions.

A person can consider himself responsible, feel responsible and act from the position of a responsible person. Rational-volitional components are most clearly characterized by such states as insight and determination. Naturally, the act of making a responsible decision can be accompanied by a wide variety of emotional states: concern, tension, anxiety, excitement, anxiety, concentration, doubt, etc. The connection between activity, i.e., the act of making a responsible decision, and emotions is mutual: on the one hand, the course and outcome human activity usually cause certain feelings, on the other hand, the feelings of a person, his emotional states influence his activities.

Every person can find himself in a situation where his actions and actions can cause harm and offend others. This can happen unknowingly if a person does not have enough information about the situation or the people around him. The subjective experience of responsibility can be different. If a person did not know, he is not responsible for the consequences of the action committed, but with the acquisition of knowledge about the consequences of his actions, the person either takes responsibility or refuses it, which indicates the degree of development of his sense of responsibility. The subjective experience of a sense of responsibility can arise only when there is awareness of one’s actions and possible consequences.

There is a “scale” of the amount of responsibility: a feeling or acceptance of responsibility only for oneself, for oneself and loved ones, for oneself and others, one is responsible for everything. A person who considers himself responsible only for himself tries to influence life events that concern only his life. These people look independent, they do not ask for advice, but they also do not try to change those around them or determine their actions. However, the majority considers themselves responsible not only for themselves, but also for loved ones - members of their family, especially children. Parents believe that they are obliged to teach their children even when they are already grown up. Marital relations, in turn, can also be determined by the level of responsibility that each partner bears. A person who is afraid to take responsibility and make decisions on his own is looking for a partner who is ready to fulfill this responsibility instead of him. An unsuccessful combination of partners will be one of whom strives to be independent, has his own value system, and the other considers himself responsible for making decisions and determining the partner’s life path, based on his own system of norms and rules. However, there are opportunities for partners to interact when they do not impose their values ​​on each other, and at the same time remain responsible for each other. This is achieved in the process of empathic communication with another person, when you temporarily live the life of another, leaving aside your point of view, values, and your “I”. The empathic way of communication, according to K. Rogers, is characterized by the following:

entering the personal world of another and being at home in it;

constant sensitivity to the changing experiences of another;

capturing what the other is barely aware of, without trying to reveal completely unconscious feelings, since they can be traumatic;

message about your impressions inner world another;

a calm look at those elements that excite or frighten your interlocutor.

Allowing to a loved one make decisions yourself, without imposing your judgments and assessments, helping him to understand his experiences, you can feel responsible for him and allow him to be responsible for you.

From the point of view of responsibility, two types of personality can be established - mature and infantile. Researchers identify the following psychological characteristics of a mature personality: a developed sense of responsibility, the need to care for other people, the ability to actively participate in the life of society and effectively use one’s knowledge and abilities, psychological closeness with another person, constructive solutions to various life problems on the path to the most complete self-realization. From the subjective side, responsibility is an indicator of personal freedom, independence, allowing you to remain individual when interacting with other people. Infancy is determined by the preservation in the psyche and behavior of an adult of the characteristics inherent in childhood. This is expressed in a lack of independence in decisions and actions, a feeling of insecurity, decreased criticality towards oneself, increased demands for others to take care of themselves, etc. The infantile personality either does not know or does not try to assume the consequences of his actions, or justifies himself with circumstances, trying to do so. way to avoid responsibility, which for her coincides with punishment.

Possible various ways avoiding responsibility. For example, when analyzing human behavior in a crowd, many researchers note that the more people are concentrated in one place, the weaker the sense of responsibility in each of them. Thanks to numbers, a consciousness of irresistible force and at the same time anonymity arises, the crowd establishes its own laws - the laws of chaos and the elements (at this moment the crowd replaces society, the state), and a person easily loses his former responsibility. To avoid independent decision, and therefore a sense of responsibility for it, can be achieved by expressing agreement with the decision of the group or family.

Often, fulfilling an order, a boss’s requirements, or one’s professional or civic duties occurs at the level of automated actions. These actions are not considered one’s own, they are not controlled from the point of view of internal values, therefore, the person does not calculate the possible consequences of the actions taken, and does not care about the outcome of the matter. E. Fromm introduced the concept of “automatic conformism” into psychology. This is the mechanism by which a person ceases to be himself, completely assimilates the type of personality that cultural models offer him, and completely becomes like others and what they expect him to be. A person who has destroyed his individual “I” and become an automaton no longer experiences the fear of loneliness and powerlessness. The subjective experience of responsibility disappears, since everyone else is no different from it. The society that made man the way he is becomes responsible for everything.

Responsibility differs from duty in the degree of internal awareness. There is an element of external coercive force in duty. Responsibility can be considered as a special case of the manifestation of duty, the specification of its requirements.

A person’s responsibility can be judged only by its manifestations in activities, actions, and attitude towards people, although specific socio-psychological studies have shown that there is no direct correspondence between externally observable behavior and value attitudes. So doing social norms may say little about responsibility.

The structure of responsibility as a personality quality includes:

awareness of the need to act in accordance with social requirements and norms as social values;

awareness of one's social value and public role;

foreseeing the consequences of choices, decisions, actions;

criticality and constant monitoring of one’s actions, taking into account their consequences for other people;

the desire for self-realization, self-realization in the objective world;

self-report and self-esteem;

willingness to take responsibility for one's actions;

socially responsible activities.

The responsibility of employees in the performance of their work duties is very important point. Often subordinates shift it to management, arguing that they lack authority. Although, in fact, this is an example of a standard evasion of responsibility, which is found in many companies. How to teach subordinates to be more responsible?

In the master class “The Winner’s Path: Management Struggle,” he describes in detail the tricks employees use against the manager. For example, a subordinate turns to his boss with a question of how to resolve a certain situation. The boss answers. Who is responsible for the outcome of the situation? Of course, the leader is in the opinion of the subordinate. The employee is satisfied, the issue is resolved, the discomfort is eliminated. If something goes wrong, who will be held accountable? Well, of course, from the one who proposed a solution to the problem.

How to teach subordinates to take responsibility? In a situation where a manager is considering an employee’s question, he should not offer his own option, but directly ask:

– How would you answer this question?

If several alternative options are provided to subordinates, the manager should not indicate one of them either. Better to clarify:

– Which answer out of the three do you think is the best? Right. Why did you come to me? Do you want me to be responsible for this?

Another way to discourage an employee's tricks, as Vladimir Tarasov notes in his book, is to burden him with responsibility. It is necessary to give him such motivation that he checks the task for you as conscientiously as if he were doing it for himself. Loading him with responsibility means building a technological chain in his picture of the world that connects the quality of his check with the inevitable and personally important consequences for him. Attitude to little things shows the degree of skill in a matter, life and other experience, the degree of civilization of an individual.

Responsibility - an uncomfortable experience that can be observed not only in professional activity, but also in my personal life. We always want to find someone who could make a decision for us, and even better, completely relieve us of responsibility. Every person in his life plays the role of both a subordinate and a boss. The manager himself acts in some areas of life as a subordinate, and, of course, knows about all the tricks of the game called “transfer of responsibility.”

Alexander Fridman on the responsibility of subordinates

What is subordinate responsibility? There are people with different thresholds of responsibility - some have this quality developed better, others worse. People with a high coefficient of awareness think through their actions, do not need confirmation of each step, and use their heads “for their intended purpose.” Such people can be conditionally called “samurai”. There is an opposite type - the so-called “Rastafarians”. They are unable to control themselves, they do not want and cannot be responsible for anything. There is also an intermediate type of people who, in different situations, behave both responsibly and irresponsibly, depending on what the external circumstances are.

How to increase the external responsibility of employees? recommends following these rules:

• develop and implement a coordinate system (introduce rules, principles, even terms);
• give employees the right to make amendments to the design of this system;
• set up a feedback channel between employees and the manager;
• control compliance by subordinates with the conditions of the coordinate system;
• encourage employees who work according to the rules of the system.

British entrepreneur Richard Branson said: “If you don’t know how to teach your subordinates independence, you need to give them freedom. Allow employees to come to work at any time; if a person needs a two-month vacation, give it!” What did the businessman expect from people? Manifestations of the best qualities - responsibility, independence in conditions of freedom and the absence of “canons” in the workplace.
Can you agree with the British businessman? Only partly. Not all people placed in such conditions will show their best qualities. Only people with a high degree of internal responsibility will correctly use the freedom provided. The rest will view it as a favorable breeding ground for the implementation of their goals, but not the goals of the company.

What is the secret of Branson's approach to work? It can be assumed that his company has a good selection of personnel, and people with a low threshold of responsibility are simply not hired. The second option is that a person without strict selection is accepted into the company, given freedom, and then they see how he shows himself in the process of work. If you fail, you are fired. Failure to comply with such conditions would lead to the fact that Branson’s company could simply become “a haven for lazy and well-fed cats.”

Many Western companies preach rather strict principles that no one talks about, but they are generally known, they are known “by default.” For example, if a person asks for a long vacation - yes, please, but first complete the tasks you need to do. If you don’t do it, the full responsibility for it is on you.

How to increase the independence of subordinates: down with irresponsibility

If you analyze the actions of employees in a company, you can determine the degree of their responsibility. Low indicators will be in the presence of the following signs:

1. Employees constantly and persistently perform a lot of meaningless, routine work.
2. There is no autonomy in actions: colleagues are additionally involved in tasks that can be performed by one person.
3. Responsibility for work results is not defined: it is transferred from one subordinate to another.
4. Employees lack initiative and lack motivation.
5. There is a high degree of aggression in the team.

How else to increase the responsibility and independence of subordinates in the company? First of all, you need to introduce changes to the corporate culture and analyze the motivational system. This is a long individual work with all parts of the company - the systemic process must affect all segments of the organization.

The clear presence of rules and instructions regarding business processes facilitates decision-making in the company. All employees must be responsible, regardless of their position. The attention of the HR service primarily falls to those departments in which there is low independence.

A step towards increasing the independence of subordinates is the abandonment of the traditional management pyramid and the transition to decentralization. The company's employees are given new boundaries of opportunity. They take part in discussing issues, business processes, and solving difficult work issues. Initiative and independent work are encouraged.

For example, at the Masterfiber company (Moscow), the question of how to increase the independence of employees is not raised. Subordinates are prohibited from contacting management to resolve a problem. There are clear rules: in relation to which issues subordinates rely on their own authority, and in which cases they need the approval of management, and in writing. Yes, it is approval, but not a decision. In writing, the employee addresses the problem and offers options for resolving it. The manager studies the information provided, approves one of the options or asks to choose another.

By solving work problems for subordinates, the manager devalues ​​their work, turning the company's personnel into a gray mass consisting of uninitiated, irresponsible performers.

If an employee is given the opportunity to resolve an issue on his own, he will feel more confident, treat his organization “like a businessman” and show responsibility in any work situations that require a correct and quick decision.