Adequate self-esteem from birth to old age. What does our self-esteem depend on? What is adequate self-esteem?

How much self-esteem means in our lives and the lives of our children - that is, assessment of ourselves, our actions, capabilities, qualities and place among other people. Adequate self-esteem is the basis for harmonious interaction with the world; it gives confidence in one’s own abilities, allows one to set realistic goals and change decisions depending on the circumstances. This is healthy criticism without self-deprecation, when mistakes are not a reason for despair, but only a reason for looking for new ways.

The basis of adequate self-esteem is acceptance of yourself, your body, your character traits, strengths and weaknesses. Our ability to develop directly depends on how ready we are to face reality and accept it as a given.

With low or low self-esteem, a person inevitably feels an internal conflict. After all, in both cases, he is faced with a reality that does not coincide with his perception. People with high self-esteem tend to overestimate their capabilities and influence on others; they are focused on themselves, but they do not have a very high need for development. Why change something about yourself when you are already quite wonderful?

People with low self-esteem, on the contrary, do not believe in themselves and their capabilities, suffer from lack of fulfillment and are prone to self-criticism. Their problems with self-development lie on a slightly different plane: they do not see in themselves the resources to change something for the better.

How can you help your child develop adequate self-esteem?

The formation of self-esteem begins from a very early age and directly depends on parents. The baby does not yet feel like someone separate from his mother; he perceives reality through the prism of her view, as well as through the mother’s sense of self. How kind is this world to both of them, do they love mom and baby, do mom and dad talk to him kindly, praise him for his wonderful smile, or are they constantly dissatisfied with his crying and behavior? Or maybe they are indifferent and don’t pay attention? How does the mother feel next to the baby? Depending on this, the baby will experience a feeling of comfort and self-worth, or anxiety and dissatisfaction with what is happening around him, including himself. As we see, self-esteem is laid through emotional perception: emotions are recorded and become the basis on which the self-esteem of a growing person will be built. Don’t be afraid to over-praise your child, just as a plant needs moisture, so a baby needs love, affection and praise.

Usually parents do not have any special problems with their babies, but why older child becomes, the more space he gets for independent actions, and the more critical his parents begin to be about his actions. And now, instead of “What a wonderful girl,” the daughter hears “Ah-ah-ah, how bad it is to pee in your pants!”, instead of “Wonderful baby,” the son is scolded, “It’s not good to get into your mother’s bag!” It is clear that we cannot completely do without criticism. It is an integral building block in the foundation of education. But try to give negative assessments not of the child’s personality, but of his actions. There should not be more negative ratings than positive ones. And if you are going to show your child what he did wrong, then show him how he can do it well. But you can praise not only his actions, but also himself, just like that, because he is your baby, beloved and desired.

Inflated self-esteem can appear when parents evaluate any actions of a growing child as positive; they are afraid to criticize their son or daughter, justifying any mistake with childish spontaneity, vulnerability and other biased reasons. As a result, the child will grow up confident in his own infallibility. And how can he learn to adequately evaluate his behavior when whatever he does is approved in advance?

There is another trap. Parents can speak only positively about the child, praise and cherish him, but conflict with each other. If there is no mutual respect in the family, parents are accustomed to blaming each other for all sins, the child perceives this as his own fault. Children are characterized by so-called mythological thinking - when a child thinks that all his thoughts and desires can be translated into reality and therefore believes that it is his behavior that is the cause of discord. In addition, up to a certain age, a child identifies himself with one of the parents. And therefore, when one parent humiliates the other, it is equivalent to the fact that the parents will tell the child every day how bad and insignificant he is.

In adolescence, it becomes possible to build self-esteem based on your own judgments about yourself. Logical thinking is activated, the opinion about oneself and one’s capabilities is re-evaluated. Later, throughout life, self-esteem may change, but the first emotional knowledge about oneself remains basic. I'm good. I am bad?

How do you know what your child’s self-esteem is at the moment?

You can offer him a small test yourself. Draw a staircase of 10 steps on a piece of paper. Invite your child to imagine that on the very top step of this ladder there are the best children, below are slightly less good, and on the very bottom step are the worst. On what step does he think he will stand? By analogy, we ask and offer to place ourselves in a similar way on the steps between the children: the strong - the weak, the brave - the cowardly, the smart - the stupid, the good - the evil. Also ask where he can be between the children with whom everyone wants to communicate and the children with whom no one wants to communicate. For students junior classes You can suggest a couple: the best student in the class - the worst student in the class. For clarity, you can make several stairs. It will immediately become clear to you whether your child is inclined to underestimate or overestimate his capabilities, because you know how kind or brave he is (although sometimes it is difficult to avoid subjective perception). You can also see which traits of his personality he perceives most painfully. Suffering from inattention from peers or feeling weak?

In any case, if you discover any problems, it is better to bring this discovery to specialists. The main thing is not to try to convince your child that he is wrong and everything is fine with him. It’s better to ask why your son or daughter decided that they are exactly like that and look for some evidence to the contrary. Often praise the positive traits in your child’s character, confirm that he is brave, smart - depending on the situation. Or maybe he really has problems with aggression or relationships in the class and it’s not a matter of self-esteem? In childhood, it is easier to correct this, as well as self-esteem, than in adulthood.

As an adult, it is possible to improve your self-esteem

Even old impressions can be replayed and new emotional experiences can be superimposed on them. If you think you need to correct your self-esteem, seek help from a specialist, but you can also use several simple exercises:

Praise yourself in front of the mirror more often. In the morning, while washing your face in the bathroom, be sure to say something nice to yourself. Remember the movie “The Most Charming and Attractive?” Yes, yes, we need to act on the same principle. Make it a rule to look in the mirror several times a day and inspire yourself with simple thoughts: “I am successful,” “I am the most beautiful,” “I manage everything easily,” “People around me like me.” Use the phrases that you need now. What do you want? Become smarter, richer, more beautiful, slimmer? Our thoughts gradually shape our image. Have patience and you will notice how, following your perception, better side your life changes too.
Get yourself a praise notebook. Every evening before going to bed, remember and write down 5 (or more) events of the past day for which you could praise yourself. Let it seem to you at first that these are some little things, each of them is important. This exercise must be done for at least a month. Over time, you will learn to find words of praise for yourself without the tension that arose in the beginning.
Learn to accept compliments. As a rule, people with low self-esteem, when complimented, blush, turn pale, begin to make excuses or devalue their merits for which they were praised. In response to: “How wonderful you look today,” they brush off that it’s all just a matter of the cut of the dress or good makeup. Stop these impulses. Learn not to make excuses, but to say “thank you” in response. Listen to your feelings. What prevents you from enjoying what is said? Finally, go to the mirror, look into your eyes and repeat after the one who praised you: “Yes, I look great today!”
Learn to praise others. We often project our fear of receiving compliments onto others, which is why we rarely give them to anyone. Make it a rule to say something nice to at least one person at least once a day. No need for falsehood. Surely there is someone in your circle to whom you can give credit for culinary delights, or praise the color of lipstick, or the ability to negotiate. Are there enough reasons? You just have to look around. This is especially true in relation to your own children. The first thing you need to learn is to praise.
Allow yourself to make mistakes. People with low self-esteem tend to punish themselves for any mistake or failure. Look at the situation with humor, find the positives in it, even the most bitter situation is an invaluable life experience. And how many advantages can be found in everyday troubles! You tore your favorite dress - a reason to please yourself and buy a new one, burnt dinner - you can go to a restaurant or order pizza at home, or maybe a light salad will be enough for this evening, because you have long wanted to lose a couple of extra pounds. If something can be fixed, fix it, if not, let it go. There are no perfect people who have never made mistakes.
Use logic. Analyze the quality that has been poisoning your life lately. For example, you consider yourself ugly: what exactly gives you reason to think about yourself in this way? Maybe no one has ever complimented you? Maybe they call you names on the streets? How do you behave when you think this thought is true? Are you giving up dating? Don't go to parties? What would happen if this quality was replaced by the opposite, and you became beautiful? How would you behave? Try to fantasize about this topic. And then ask yourself the question, is it really only appearance that prevents you from realizing these fantasies? Then formulate the opposite judgment: I am beautiful! And find three confirmations this statement: long-time fan, random compliment... This way you can work with any negative image about yourself.
Don't put it off until later, start acting today. And remember: If you don’t value yourself highly, the world won’t offer you a penny more (Sonya Henie).

Self-esteem is an independent assessment of one’s own personal qualities: both advantages and disadvantages. There are two types: adequate and inadequate. Since we live in a society and are directly dependent on each other, adequacy takes pride of place among the personal qualities that influence interaction between people.

Also, your assessment of yourself may not correspond to the ideas of others and may be either underestimated or overestimated. One of the main criteria for determining the adequacy of self-esteem is the level of feasibility of a person’s plans. For example, if a person, despite the apparent presence of all the necessary factors, does not believe in himself and the result is positive, this is a situation of underestimating himself. And if the plans are fantastic and unrealistic, self-esteem is inflated.

In general, it is best to evaluate each individual situation separately. The indicator should be the result obtained. If a person has successfully completed a task that he had put off for a long time, we can talk about an objectively underestimated assessment of his personal qualities. Another indicator may be the opinion of a recognized expert in the field to which the subject has directed his own claims. In this case, we were talking about specific situational self-esteem, which tends to align with the experience gained.

How to assess the adequacy of personal self-esteem?

An adequate personal assessment of oneself is one that corresponds to real facts and results, an objective assessment of one’s capabilities, if possible, neither overestimated nor underestimated, excluding restrictions on one’s place among people and one’s place in life in general. When we are talking about an immature, not yet fully formed personality, then personal self-esteem is most often influenced by the assessments of surrounding people, who can also make mistakes and do not always give an adequate real picture. An adequate personal assessment of oneself can be considered one of the main signs of personality maturity.

The problem of inadequate self-esteem

Inadequate self-esteem can be considered a working task for psychotherapeutic intervention. This is the best wording that encourages action. When we talk about a problem, a pronounced negative connotation immediately appears, which can have a repulsive effect on a person. Problems, most often, can only be solved with the help of a specialist. And when there is a specific task, then it is much easier to achieve the goal.

Do you need to understand the adequacy of self-assessment?

The answer is clear – it is necessary, and here’s why:

to level out the level of aspirations and promote the formation of healthy ambitions;
to be able to judge the personal adequacy of a person.
Let's look at a specific example. If during a session a student panics before each exam that “nothing will work out,” and then passes all tests brilliantly, then this can be considered a case of low self-esteem. Although sometimes this may simply be a character trait - a tendency to dramatize everything.

Next important point What needs to be emphasized is that adequate self-esteem can also be different. It all depends on specific situation and human abilities. Real recognition that you cannot do something is adequate self-esteem, even if it is adequately low. Those people who are accustomed to trust not their feelings in making decisions, but their reason, have more adequate self-esteem.

Typically, the adequacy of self-esteem grows in proportion to the experience gained: then, when a person has become thoroughly acquainted with a subject or issue from all sides, he can give a real assessment of his knowledge and capabilities. It is no coincidence that it is said that most often it is not the one who does not know how to swim who drowns, but the one who has just learned (precisely because he is inclined to overestimate his capabilities).

A person’s assessment of himself can change under the influence of various factors, ranging from his mood and what he ate for breakfast, to some more serious circumstances and specific work skills.

Ideally, everyone should strive to learn to abstract from a problem for a more successful solution, to be above the situation, specifically in order to give an adequate objective assessment.

Self-esteem is a component of self-awareness. A person evaluates himself, his place among others, and abilities. It can be adequate, average, overestimated, underestimated and low. Its level, according to , is primarily influenced by family upbringing. The level of self-esteem is not formed from birth. It is influenced by upbringing and the character of the parents. Inflated self-esteem is a person’s overestimation of their potential. It is often said about such people that they are out of touch with reality. Low self-esteem is characterized by a negative attitude towards oneself. Such a person pays increased attention to shortcomings, while knowing little about his own strengths.

Adequate self-esteem and level of aspirations

Self-esteem forms the individual's self-awareness. It consists of two components:

Cognitive. It reflects the information a person has received about himself;
Emotional. The component expresses the individual’s attitude towards himself (character, habits).

US psychologist W. James created the following formula: Self-esteem = Success / Level of aspirations.

Let's consider how the level of aspirations and success affect self-esteem. The level of aspirations is characterized by the desired level of self-esteem of an individual. This is the level that a person wants to achieve. It concerns , . Success is the result achieved by an individual. An increase in the indicator will occur through an increase in the result of actions or a decrease in the level of claims.

An adequate level is the ability to objectively assess oneself and one’s abilities. A person has an adequate understanding of his place in society, accepts his feelings and character traits, his pros and cons.

Nathaniel Branden, a famous psychotherapist, believes that healthy self-esteem gives inner stability and confidence, without which it is impossible to cope with life's challenges. He gives in his book "Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" six practices for developing healthy, adequate self-esteem.

Low level of self-esteem

Signs of low self-esteem appear at any period of life, but the inclinations are formed in childhood. This problem occurs frequently in society and interferes with the normal existence of a person. A person with low self-esteem doubts his attractiveness and capabilities, and is afraid of causing laughter and rejection from people. Strong touchiness and envy often manifest themselves. A person risks not realizing his potential due to indecisiveness and shyness.

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

Signs of low self-esteem are as follows:

Negative phrases in speech. “Maybe”, “hardly”, “not sure”. A person may not realize how often he says these words, but they indicate his attitude towards life;
Frequent Bad mood. A person often thinks about his shortcomings, criticizes the country and the people around him, hiding a bad mood behind cynicism;
Perfectionism. It manifests itself in excessive attention to appearance, the desire to be better than others in everything;
Loneliness. Fear of new acquaintances, avoidance of communication;
Fear of risks. Even if a person is offered a promotion at work, he may refuse due to fear of not living up to expectations;
Guilt. A person with low self-esteem can take the blame on himself, apologizing to everyone, even if the situation concerns him indirectly;
Low initiative. In a dispute, a person will not prove a point of view, and will give the assigned task to someone else at the first opportunity.

A person with a low level is prone to loneliness

If almost each of the listed signs of low self-esteem can be traced in behavior, you should think about taking active steps to solve the problem.

How low self-esteem affects our lives

With low self-esteem, an individual does not appreciate his efforts and talents. He will settle for less with more potential. Such a person is often surrounded by people who criticize him, and he does not stop communicating with them. No attempts will be made to improve the quality of life, since there is no . A person believes that he deserves such a life.

How to deal with low self-esteem?

To get promoted you need:

Reveal. Positive affirmations, if they are not true, are not always beneficial. It is better to define attitudes that emphasize actual character traits. Do not underestimate reliability, tactfulness, responsibility, even if it seems that these qualities are less recognized in society than the ability to easily find mutual language. It is important to accept your own sides of personality and learn to appreciate them;
Try not to allow self-criticism. All people react negatively to failure and humiliation. But an individual with low self-esteem will significantly exaggerate the situation. You should imagine that the failure happened not to you, but to a friend. You need to write him a letter to cheer him up and console him. Try to show kindness, care, empathy. Then describe the event based only on facts, without emotions. You need to understand that a person with an underestimation of himself may react incorrectly to the facial expressions of others, accidentally heard snippets of phrases that are not relevant to the matter. He often interprets even words about himself incorrectly. You should try to analyze an unpleasant situation as dryly as possible;
Take action. Affirmations and visualization will not help increase your self-worth without. You should start with a not very difficult task. It is important that if you fail there are no serious consequences. To begin with, it is worth collecting as much information as possible about solution methods and forming an action plan. Then calmly and step by step begin solving the problem.

Heightened self-esteem

Inflated self-esteem is a person’s overestimation of their capabilities. It has its pros and cons. The positive side is the individual’s confidence, which helps to achieve success. Negative aspects – excessive selfishness, disdain for the opinions of other people, overestimation of one’s strengths. If failures occur, a person may fall into. Therefore, even with the advantages of such self-awareness, it cannot be considered useful.

Main signs of high self-esteem

Inflated self-esteem manifests itself quite monotonously. The individual considers himself superior to others. Sometimes people themselves overestimate it, which causes pride that will remain even after the moment of glory.

Signs of high self-esteem:

Confidence in one’s rightness even in the presence of arguments contradicting it;
In every discussion, a person leaves the last word for himself;
The opinions of other people are not recognized at all;
In case of failure, the blame is shifted to society and the current situation;
Such an individual does not know how to apologize;
A person always competes with others, strives to surpass them;
The point of view is expressed constantly, even in the absence of an expressed desire to listen to it;
The word “I” is heard from him very often in any dispute;
Criticism is not accepted, indifference to the opinions of others is shown;
It is necessary to remain perfect, not make mistakes;
Any failure knocks a person out of his previous rhythm; irritation is felt when things don’t work out;
An individual takes on complex cases, but probable risks are not taken into account;
Fear of showing weakness, uncertainty;
One’s own interests are valued above others, selfishness is expressed in one’s character;
Tendency to educate people and interfere in their affairs;
The person often interrupts, does not know how to listen, prefers to talk more himself;
There is arrogance in his tone, requests are presented in the form of an order;
If you fail to be the first in any matter, the individual falls into a depressive state.

When identifying signs of high self-esteem in childhood, it is important for parents to avoid excessive praise

The impact of high self-esteem on your life

Inside, people with high self-esteem are usually dissatisfied with themselves and feel lonely. Relationships in society are difficult, as people do not approve of arrogant behavior. In some cases, aggression is visible in actions. The reaction to criticism is very painful. With any failures, depression can develop, so correction of inflated self-esteem is necessary.

How to deal with high self-esteem?

Accept any opinion of people. An outsider can see the situation more objectively;
When listening to criticism, avoid quarrels and aggression;
If you fail, you should analyze your own behavior, and not look for reasons in the environment;
Praise should be perceived critically, to understand its sincerity, deservedness and correspondence to reality;
Compare yourself with people who have achieved more success;
Determine your capabilities before taking the initiative;
Accept the negative aspects of character, do not consider them not as significant as those of others;
Become a little more self-critical, as this quality has a positive effect on development;
After completing the case, analyze whether it could have been done better and what was missing;
Perceive the assessment of others, and not just your own;
Accept the wishes and feelings of others, realize their importance.

Many people are interested in the question of how to communicate with a person with high self-esteem. Such people definitely need to be put in their place. At first it is better to do this delicately, then you can directly ask why he considers himself better than others.

You should not accept attempts at humiliation from such people. They are not very happy as they have to play an arrogant role out of fear of being themselves.

Self-esteem and health

People with a low level suffer from a lack of positive emotions, so they have less energy and strength. Such a person often restrains his activity, so the energy does not come out.

Due to constant stress, an individual loses their appetite or has eating problems, which affects their weight. These people are often manipulated, as a result of which they develop a depressive state. Avoidance of responsibility leads to restrictions on physical activity, which negatively affects the condition of the lungs and joints. Inflated self-esteem also negatively affects, since in case of failure the individual often develops depression, which leads to other problems.

It is important to have adequate self-esteem. Any deviation from the norm negatively affects not only relationships with others and self-realization, but also health.

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Self-esteem is a phenomenon that represents a value attributed to oneself as an individual and to one’s own actions by individuals, which performs three core functions: regulation, development and protection. The regulation function is responsible for making personal decisions, the protection function ensures personal stability and independence, and the development function is a kind of push mechanism that directs the individual to personal development. The core criterion for one’s own assessment is the system of meanings and non-meanings of subjects. A significant role in the formation of an adequate or overestimated (underestimated) level of self-esteem lies in the assessments of those around the individual’s personality and his achievements.

Types of self-esteem

Self-esteem is considered one of the most key and significant qualities in an individual’s life. Self-esteem begins to develop in early childhood and affects the entire future life of the individual. It is through it that a person’s success or failure in society, the achievement of what is desired, and harmonious development are often determined. That is why its role in personality development is almost impossible to overestimate.

Self-esteem, in psychological science, is called the individual’s assessment of his own strengths and defects, behavior and actions, the determination of his personal role and significance in society, and the determination of himself as a whole. In order to more clearly and correctly characterize subjects, certain types personality self-esteem.

There is normal self-esteem, that is, adequate, low and inflated, that is, inadequate. These types of self-esteem are the most important and decisive. After all, it is the level of self-esteem that determines how well a person will sensibly evaluate his own strengths, qualities, actions, and deeds.

The level of self-esteem consists of giving excessive importance to oneself, one’s own merits and defects, or, conversely, insignificance. Many people mistakenly believe that an inflated level of self-esteem is not a bad thing. However, this opinion is not entirely correct. Deviations of self-esteem in one direction or another rarely contribute to the fruitful development of the individual.

A low degree of self-esteem can only block determination and confidence, while an overestimated degree assures an individual that he is always right and does everything right.

Individuals with an inflated degree of self-esteem tend to overestimate their own real potential. Often such individuals think that the people around them underestimate them without reason, as a result of which they treat the people around them completely unfriendly, often arrogantly and arrogantly, and sometimes downright aggressive. Subjects with an inflated degree of self-esteem constantly try to prove to others that they are the best, and others are worse than them. They are confident that they are superior to other individuals in everything, and demand recognition of their own superiority. As a result, others tend to avoid communicating with them.

An individual with a low degree of self-esteem is characterized by excessive self-doubt, timidity, excessive shyness, self-consciousness, fear of expressing one’s own judgments, and often experiences an unreasonable feeling of guilt. Such people are quite easily suggestible, they always follow the opinions of other subjects, they are afraid of criticism, disapproval, condemnation, censure from surrounding colleagues, comrades and other subjects. They often see themselves as failures and do not notice, as a result of which they cannot correctly assess their best qualities. , as a rule, is formed in childhood, but can often transform from adequate due to regular comparison with other subjects.

Self-esteem is also divided into floating and stable. Its type depends on the mood of the individual or his success in a certain period of his life. Self-esteem can also be general, private and specific situational, in other words, indicate the scope of self-esteem. For example, individuals can evaluate themselves separately according to physical parameters or intellectual data, in a certain area, such as business, personal life, etc.

The listed types of personality self-esteem are considered fundamental in psychological science. They can be interpreted as a modification of the behavior of subjects from the realm of an absolutely impersonal principle into individually personal certainty.

Self-esteem and self-confidence

Evaluation of actions, qualities, and actions occurs from a very early age. It can be divided into two components: assessment of one’s own actions and qualities by others and comparison of achieved personal goals with the results of others. In the process of realizing one’s own actions, activities, goals, behavioral reactions, potential (intellectual and physical), analyzing the attitude of others towards one’s person and the personal attitude towards them, the individual learns to evaluate one’s own positive qualities and negative traits, in other words, learns adequate self-esteem. This “learning process” can drag on for many years. But you can increase your self-esteem and feel confident in your own potential and strengths in a fairly short time, if you set such a goal for yourself or if there is a need to free yourself from uncertainty.

Confidence in personal potential and adequate self-esteem are precisely the two main components of success. It is possible to identify the characteristic features of subjects who feel confident in their own capabilities.

Such individuals:

They always express their own desires and requests in the first person;

They are easy to understand;

They positively assess their own personal potential, set difficult-to-achieve goals for themselves and achieve their implementation;

Recognize their own achievements;

They take the expression of their own thoughts and desires seriously as well as other people’s words and desires, they look for joint ways to satisfy common needs;

They consider achieved goals as success. In cases where it is not possible to achieve what they want, they set more realistic goals for themselves and learn a lesson from the work done. It is this attitude towards success and failure that opens up new opportunities and gives strength for subsequent actions in order to set new goals;

All actions are implemented as needed, rather than postponed.

Adequate self-esteem makes an individual a confident person. The coincidence of ideas regarding one's own potential and one's real capabilities is called adequate self-esteem. Forming an adequate degree of self-esteem will not be impossible without taking actions and subsequent analysis of the fruits of such actions. A subject who has an adequate degree of self-esteem feels a good man, as a result of which he begins to believe in his own success. He sets many goals for himself and chooses adequate means to achieve them. Belief in success helps you not to focus on temporary failures and mistakes.

Self-esteem diagnostics

Today, an increasingly important role is played by the problem of the formation of regulatory functions that help the individual to act as a real subject of his own personal behavior and activities, regardless of the influence of society, to determine the prospects of his further development, directions and tools for their implementation. A key place among the reasons determining the formation of mechanisms belongs to self-esteem, which determines the direction and degree of activity of individuals, the formation of their value orientations, personal goals and the boundaries of their achievements.

Modern scientific society has recently increasingly brought issues that are related to the study of personal orientation, self-esteem, the problem of self-esteem, and personality constancy to the forefront. Since such phenomena for scientific knowledge have complexity and ambiguity, the success of studying which, for the most part, depends on the level of sophistication of the research methods used. Subjects' interest in studying characteristic properties personality, such as self-esteem, etc. – entailed the development of many methods for conducting personality research.

Methods for diagnosing self-esteem today can be considered in all their diversity, since many different techniques and methods have been developed that allow one to analyze an individual’s self-esteem based on different indicators. Therefore, psychology has in its arsenal whole line experimental methods for detecting an individual’s self-esteem, its quantitative assessment and qualitative characteristics.

For example, using the value of the rank ratio, you can compare the subject’s idea of what personal traits he would like to have first (ideal self) and what qualities he actually has (current self). A significant factor in this method is that the individual, in the process of undergoing research, makes the necessary calculations independently in accordance with the existing formula, and does not provide the researcher with information about his own current and ideal “I”. The coefficients obtained as a result of self-esteem research allow us to see self-esteem in its quantitative expression.

The most popular methods for diagnosing self-esteem are described below.

The Dembo-Rubinstein technique, named after the names of its authors, helps determine three key parameters of self-esteem: height, realism and stability. During the research, absolutely all comments of the participant in the process made in relation to the scales, poles and its location on the scales should be taken into account. Psychologists are convinced that a careful analysis of a conversation contributes to more accurate and complete conclusions about an individual’s self-esteem than the usual analysis of the location of marks on scales.

The method of analyzing personal self-esteem according to Budassi makes it possible to conduct a quantitative analysis of self-esteem, as well as to identify its degree and adequacy, to find the relationship between one’s ideal “I” and those qualities that exist in reality. The stimulus material is represented by a set consisting of 48 personality traits, for example, daydreaming, thoughtfulness, cheekiness, etc. The ranking principle forms the basis of this technique. Its purpose is to determine connections among ranking assessments of personal properties included in ideas about oneself, real and ideal, during processing of the results. The degree of connection is determined using the rank correlation value.

Budassi's research method is based on the individual's self-assessment, which can be done in two ways. The first is to compare your own ideas with really existing, objective performance indicators. The second is a comparison of one’s own person with other people.

The Cattell test is practically the most common questionnaire method for assessing individual psychological personality traits. The questionnaire is aimed at identifying relatively independent sixteen personality factors. Each of these factors produces several surface properties that are clustered around one key feature. The MD factor (self-esteem) is an additional factor. Average numbers of this factor will mean the presence of adequate self-esteem, its certain maturity.

V. Shchur’s technique, called “Ladder,” helps to identify children’s system of ideas about how they evaluate their own qualities, how others evaluate them, and how such judgments relate to each other. This technique has two methods of application: group and individual. The group version allows you to quickly identify the degree of self-esteem in several children at the same time. An individual style of conducting makes it possible to detect the reasons affecting the formation of inadequate self-esteem. The stimulus material in this technique is a so-called ladder, consisting of 7 steps. The child must determine his own place on this ladder, with the “good children” on the first step, and the “worst” on the 7th step, respectively. To carry out this technique, great emphasis is placed on creating a friendly environment, an atmosphere of trust, goodwill, and openness.

You can also study self-esteem in children using the following techniques, such as the technique developed by A. Zakharova to determine the level of emotional self-esteem and D. Lampen’s method of self-esteem called “Tree,” modified by L. Ponomarenko. These methods are aimed at determining the degree of self-esteem of children.

The test proposed by T. Leary is designed to identify self-esteem by assessing the behavior of individuals, close people, and describing the ideal image of “I”. Using this method, it becomes possible to identify the prevailing type of attitude towards others in self-esteem and in mutual assessment. The questionnaire contains 128 value judgments, which are represented by eight types of relationships, combined into 16 items, which are ordered by increasing intensity. The method is structured in such a way that judgments aimed at defining any type of relationship are not arranged in a row, but are grouped into 4 types and they are repeated after an equal number of definitions.

The diagnostic technique for self-assessment of mental states, developed by G. Eysenck, is used to determine the self-assessment of such mental states as rigidity, anxiety, etc. Stimulus material is a list of mental states that are characteristic or not characteristic of the subject. In the process of interpreting the results, the characteristic level of severity of the conditions being studied is determined for the subject.

Self-assessment analysis methods also include:

A. Lipkina’s technique called “Three Assessments”, with the help of which the level of self-esteem, its stability or instability, and the argumentation of self-esteem are diagnosed;

A test called “Assess yourself,” which allows you to determine the types of personality self-esteem (underestimated, overestimated, etc.);

A technique called “Can I cope or not”, aimed at identifying an evaluative position.

In a general sense, diagnostic methods are focused on determining the degree of self-esteem, its adequacy, on studying general and private self-esteem, on identifying the relationship between the images of the “I” real and ideal.

Development of self-esteem

The formation of various aspects of self-esteem occurs at different age periods. In each individual period of an individual’s life, society or physical development prescribes for him the development of the most significant factor of self-esteem at that particular moment. It follows that the formation of personal self-esteem goes through certain stages of self-esteem development. Specific self-assessment factors should be formed in the most suitable period for this. Therefore, early childhood is considered the most significant period for the development of self-esteem. After all, it is in childhood that a person acquires fundamental knowledge and judgments about his own person, the world, and people. Much in the formation of an adequate level of self-esteem depends on the parents, their education, literacy in behavior towards the child, and the degree of their acceptance of the child. Since it is the family that is the first society for a small individual, and the process of studying the norms of behavior, assimilation of morals accepted in a given society is called socialization. The child in the family compares his behavior, himself with significant adults, imitates them. For children, receiving adult approval is important in early childhood. The self-esteem set by the parents is assimilated by the child unquestioningly.

In the preschool age period, parents try to instill in their children basic norms of behavior, such as correctness, politeness, cleanliness, sociability, modesty, etc. At this stage, it is impossible to do without patterns and stereotypes in behavior. So, for example, the female part of the population is taught from childhood that they should be soft, obedient and neat, and boys - that they should keep their emotions under control, because men do not cry. As a result of this patterned suggestion, children subsequently evaluate whether their peers have the necessary qualities. Whether such assessments will be negative or positive depends on the reasonableness of the parents.

In the primary school age, priorities begin to change. At this stage, school performance, diligence, mastering the rules of school behavior and communication in the classroom come to the fore. Now another social institution called school is added to the family. Children in this period begin to compare themselves with their peers, they want to be like everyone else or even better, they are drawn to an idol and an ideal. This period is characterized by labeling children who have not yet learned to draw independent conclusions. So, for example, a restless, active child, who finds it quite difficult to behave calmly and is unable to sit still, will be called a hooligan, and a child who has difficulty mastering the school curriculum will be called an ignoramus or a lazy person. Since children in this age period do not yet know how to think critically about the opinions of others, the opinion of a significant adult will be authoritative, as a result of which it will be taken on faith, and the child will take it into account in the process of self-evaluation.

By the transitional age period, the dominant position is given to natural development, the child becomes more independent, transforms mentally and changes physically, and begins to fight for his own place in the hierarchy of his peers. Now his main critics are his peers. This stage is characterized by the formation of ideas about one’s own appearance and success in society. At the same time, adolescents first learn to evaluate others and only after time themselves. The result of this is a certain cruelty of individuals adolescence, which appears during fierce competition in the hierarchy of peers, when adolescents can already judge others, but do not yet know how to adequately evaluate themselves. Only by the age of 14 do individuals develop the ability to independently adequately evaluate others. At this age, children strive to know themselves, achieve self-esteem, and form self-esteem. Important at this stage is the feeling of belonging to a group of one’s own kind.

An individual always strives to be good, at least in his own eyes. Hence, if a teenager is not accepted among his peers at school, or is not understood in the family, then he will look for suitable friends in another environment, often ending up in the so-called “bad” company.

The next stage in the development of self-esteem begins after graduating from school and entering higher education. educational institution or no receipts. Now the individual is surrounded by a new environment. This stage is characterized by the maturation of yesterday’s teenagers. Therefore, in this period, the foundation consisting of assessments, templates, stereotypes that was created earlier under the influence of parents, peers, significant adults and other surroundings of the child will be important. By this stage, one of the core attitudes has usually already been developed, which is the perception of one’s own personality with a plus or minus sign. In other words, in this stage the individual enters with a formed good or negative attitude towards his own person.

An attitude is a kind of readiness of an individual to perform actions in a certain way, that is, it precedes any activity, behavioral reactions and even thoughts.

A subject with a negative attitude about himself will interpret any of his qualities or victories from a disadvantageous position for himself. In the event of his victories, he will consider that he was simply lucky, that the victory was not the result of his work. Such an individual is simply not able to notice and perceive his own positive traits and qualities, which leads to disruption of adaptation in society. Since society evaluates an individual by his behavior, and not only in accordance with his actions and actions.

An individual with a positive attitude will have stable high self-esteem. Such a subject will perceive any of his own failures as a tactical retreat.

In conclusion, it should be noted that, according to many psychologists, the individual undergoes key stages in the development of self-esteem in childhood, therefore the family and the existing relationships in it still play a fundamental role in the formation of an adequate level of self-esteem. Individuals whose families are based on mutual understanding and support in life become more successful, adequate, independent, successful and purposeful. However, along with this, in order to form an adequate level of self-esteem, proper conditions are necessary, which include relationships in the school community and among peers, good luck in college life, etc. Also, an individual’s heredity plays an important role in the formation of self-esteem.

Adequate self-esteem

The role of self-esteem in personality development is an almost fundamental factor for further successful realization in life. After all, so often in life you can meet truly talented people, but who have not achieved success due to lack of confidence in their own potential, talent and strength. Therefore, developing an adequate level of self-esteem must be given Special attention. Self-esteem can be adequate and inadequate. The correspondence of an individual's opinion about his own potential to his real abilities is considered the main criterion for assessing this parameter. If an individual’s goals and plans are not feasible, it speaks of inadequate self-esteem, as well as with an excessively underestimated assessment of one’s potential. It follows that the adequacy of self-esteem is confirmed only in practice, when an individual is able to cope with the tasks set for himself, or the judgments of authoritative experts in a suitable field of knowledge.

Adequate self-esteem of a person is a realistic assessment by an individual of his own personality, qualities, potential, abilities, actions, etc. An adequate level of self-esteem helps the subject to treat his own person from a critical point of view, to correctly correlate his own strengths with goals of varying degrees of seriousness and with the needs of others. A number of factors can be identified that influence the development of an adequate level of self-esteem: one’s own thoughts and the structure of perception, the reaction of others, the experience of communicative interaction at school, among peers and in the family, various diseases, physical defects, injuries, the level of culture of the family, the environment and the individual himself, religion, social roles, professional fulfillment and status.

Adequate self-esteem gives the individual a feeling of inner harmony and stability. He feels confident, as a result of which he is able, as a rule, to build positive relationships with others.

Adequate self-esteem contributes to the manifestation of an individual’s own merits and, at the same time, to hide or compensate for existing defects. In general, adequate self-esteem leads to success in professional field, society and interpersonal relationships, openness to feedback, which leads to the acquisition of positive life skills and experiences.

A high self-evaluation

Usually, it is generally accepted among ordinary people that the presence of a high level of self-esteem a priori leads to happy life and implementation in the professional sphere. However, this judgment, unfortunately, is far from the truth. Adequate self-esteem of an individual is not synonymous with a high level of self-esteem. Psychologists say that high self-esteem harms the individual no less than low self-esteem. An individual with high self-esteem is simply not able to accept and take into account other people's opinions, views, and attitudes towards the value system of others. High self-esteem can acquire negative forms of manifestation, expressed in anger and verbal defense.

Subjects with unstable high self-esteem tend to take a defensive position due to a far-fetched exaggeration of the threat, which can strike a blow to their self-esteem, level of confidence and offend. Therefore, such individuals are constantly in a tense and alert state. This enhanced defensive position indicates an inadequate perception of surrounding individuals and the environment, mental disharmony, and a low degree of self-confidence. Individuals with strong self-esteem, on the other hand, tend to perceive themselves with all the defects and flaws. They, as a rule, feel safe, as a result of which they are not inclined to blame others, use verbal defense mechanisms, or make excuses because of past mistakes and failures. Two signs of danger can be distinguished: unreasonably high judgments about oneself and an increased level.

In general, if an individual has a stable high level self-esteem isn't that bad. Often parents, without realizing it themselves, contribute to the formation of an inflated level of self-esteem in the child. At the same time, they do not understand that if the child’s developed inflated self-esteem is not supported by real abilities, this will lead to a decrease in the child’s self-confidence and an inadequate level of self-esteem downward.

Raising self-esteem

Human nature is designed in such a way that each individual, against his will, compares his own personality with others. Moreover, the criteria for such a comparison can be very different, ranging from income level to peace of mind.

Adequate self-esteem of a person can arise in individuals who know how to treat themselves rationally. They are aware that it is simply impossible to always be better than others, so they do not strive for this, as a result of which they are protected from disappointment due to dashed hopes. Individuals with a normal level of self-esteem communicate with others from an “equal” position, without unnecessary ingratiation or arrogance. However, such people are rare. According to research, more than 80% of contemporaries have low self-esteem. Such individuals are confident that they are worse than those around them in everything. Individuals with low self-esteem are characterized by constant self-criticism, excessive emotional stress, a constantly present feeling of guilt and the desire to please everyone, constant complaints about their own lives, sad facial expressions and a stooped posture.

Raising self-esteem is considered a fairly effective method of success in interpersonal relationships in the professional and social spheres. After all, a subject who is satisfied with himself and enjoys life is much more attractive than an ever-complaining whiner who is actively trying to please and assent. However, you need to understand that increasing self-esteem does not happen overnight. Below are some tips to help normalize your level of self-esteem.

You need to remember one most important rule: you should never, under any circumstances, compare yourself to other people. After all, there will always be subjects in the environment who in some aspects will be worse or better than others. It must be taken into account that each personality is individual and has only its own set of qualities and characteristics. Constant comparison can only drive an individual into a blind corner, which will invariably lead to a loss of confidence. You should find your strengths, positive traits, inclinations and use them appropriately to the situation.

To raise self-esteem, it is important to be able to set goals, objectives and implement them. Therefore, you should write a list of goals and qualities with a plus sign that contribute to the achievement of such goals. At the same time, it is necessary to write a list of qualities that hinder the achievement of goals. This will make it clear to the individual that all failures are the result of his actions, and the personality itself does not affect this.

The next step on the path is to stop looking for flaws in yourself. After all, mistakes are not a tragedy, but just gaining experience in learning from your mistakes.

Compliments from others should be received with gratitude. Therefore, you need to answer “thank you” instead of “no need.” Such a response contributes to the individual’s psychology perceiving a positive assessment of his own personality, and in the future it becomes his constant attribute.

The next tip is to change your environment. After all, it has a key impact on the level of self-esteem. People with a positive character are able to constructively and adequately evaluate the behavior and abilities of others, which can help increase confidence. Such people should prevail in the environment. Therefore, you need to constantly try to expand your circle of communicative interaction by meeting new people.

Individuals with an adequate level of self-esteem live guided by their own desires, dreams and goals. It is impossible to have normal self-esteem if you constantly do what others expect.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"